Do I have what it takes to make it in FITNESS?!!

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!! Today, I am 19-23 weeks out from my 1st 2011 competition! I had an up/down season emotionally...though my placings would indicate a strong beginning for a newbie fitness gal! I decided in 2011, I will stick with fitness.

After starting in fitness in 2010, I dabbled in the bikini division in my final 2 contests. I don't have what NPC considers the "ideal fitness physique" and I am not a gymnast so I rebelled against my fitness roots and strutted and posed in a bikini.

It was kinda weird not having to do a warm up, odd not having a costume change, and it really sucked not having 2 minutes on stage, ALL BY MYSELF. I missed fitness. Most of the fitness gals were so sweet, outgoing, and engaging. Can't say I experienced the same in bikini. Not saying all bikini gals are snobs, I have friends who compete in bikini, and they are smart, sweet, and not stuck up! At Team U, I knew BIKINI wasn't for me, but I tried it again at the Olympia in the FLEX bikini contest, which was actually FUN! I didn't place but I had a good time and met some cool chicks!

After my 1st national competition JR NATIONALS, I was on a  fitness high until I read the popular boards (while still in Chicago). Apparently I performed what a well known bodybuilder labeled "a dance routine."  He also said I was not dark enough, not lean, etc.  I had all mandatories-which were NOT even a requirement (*minus the L press). I did two 1 arm pushups, straddle press, splits, kicks, headstand/press, jumps, among other strength moves. I'll continue to do what I am strong at (dance +  fitness skills). I don't know why I was so offended!? Probably because I was suffering from diet brain, but it was enough to make me turn my back on fitness and try bikini.

I am interested to see how the fitness routine scores pan out in 2011! They added the mandatories back in! Cool, I was doing them anyway!  Who will go pro!? Who will be the newest fitness sensation?! There are many seasoned, fitness vets who have been it at it for over half a decade and complete each competition season with no pro card. It inspires me to see these same gals NOT walk away from what they love! These ladies get huge cheers from the audience and I know their time will come. They belong in fitness, pro or not.

Back to the physique talk. I was the "skinniest, not as lean" competitor up there. I was at MY leanest, ever.... yet I couldn't compare to the other girls. They had big round shoulders, huge lats, 6 packs, quad sweeps, and rock hard glutes. I overheard comments about me making finals. Hell, I thought I was dreaming when they told me I made finals, I almost didn't pack my costume!! Oddly, it was the routine score that got me into finals.

My question at the time was "at what point does it become too much? Or not enough?" Those close to me thought I looked just fine and all said "do not add more muscle!" Genetically, I probably will never have the ideal NPC/IFBB physique but I can try to BE THE BEST I CAN BE. After my year of emotional ups and down, I'm going to be OK with being the smaller fitness gal who dances.

Fitness is a dying sport, and I don't want to see it go away. Hopefully, people continue to NOT downgrade routines because there isn't gymnastics or downgrade the ladies who are not as muscular!

In 2010, despite saying I was doing it for fun and experience, my ultimate goal was to eventually earn a pro card but reality hit after my first national competition. It can take years for that happen (with a few exceptions, lucky gals) but I'm no longer making the pro card a goal. For 2011, my goal is to BE THE BEST I CAN BE! What is meant to be, will be.